Why I’m anti-date/ girls night

I’m so tired of mom bloggers giving fellow moms happiness advice.  Different things make different people happy and there is no perfect formula to make tired moms happy.  Except sleeping through the night, I think that is pretty universal in making moms happy.  Amiright?

One piece of advice that I see over and over again is to make time to go on dates and do girls nights out.  I hate to be a Debbie downer, but I just don’t agree.

pajamas are better than date night

Personally, I wasn’t a big date night or girls night out fan before having kids.  I’ve always preferred pajamas, a book and my bed to a late night out.  These days finding time in my schedule to add date night or girls night to my already busy life stresses me out.  To make matters worse I have to spend money, get less sleep than usual and be overly exhausted the next few days until I finally catch up on sleep again.  Call me a loser, but I’d much prefer to lay in bed watching Grey’s reruns or reading a book than spending money on a night out.  Then there’s the added stress of finding a sitter or family members to watch the baby and even more stress knowing that the baby won’t go down easily for a sitter.  I’m stressing just thinking about it.

Don’t worry, I’m not a complete loser.  There are still things I like to do in order to foster my relationship with my husband and girlfriends.  These are the same things that I did with Tom and my girlfriends before having kids and I make sure to continue them because it makes me happy:

  • Date night at home with wine, Netflix or Redbox, and a good home cooked meal.  Maybe takeout if we have it in the budget.
  • Coffee date with the hubby
  • Chores with the hubby, but without the baby.  We once left Robert with Tom’s brother and spent time vacuuming out our car.  We actually had a ton of fun doing something together sans baby.
  • Girls night in with movies, awards shows, snacks and drinks (Irene, you know I’m thinking of you here!)
  • Coffee date with girlfriends (Tracie, Kayla and Kay- I think we need one soon)
  • Pinterest parties where a group of girls get together to make crafts and recipes from Pinterest
  • Potluck dinners with friends
  • Shopping dates with girlfriends

Sure, most of these suggestions require money to be spent, but not nearly as much as it would be to hire a sitter and go all out for a formal date or girls night out.

I’d like to say that I still enjoy dates since having Robert, but honestly I don’t.   I dread it every single time.  I’m usually exhausted and can barely give my all to Tom.  We’ve gone out for birthdays and anniversaries and I can’t say we had a great time.  I’ve had so much more fun laying on the couch in my pajamas with a glass of wine and talking to Tom for hours.

The most important thing to keep in mind when trying to preserve your sanity after having kids is to find time to do the things you loved to do before having kids.  If you loved going out with your hubby and doing late nights with the girls, by all means, keep doing it.  However, if you’re like me and never liked it, don’t let some happiness blog make you feel like a loser if you choose to spend your time in your pjs in bed instead of a night on the town.

What about you? How do you preserve your sanity since having kids? 

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