I can’t believe some of the things that have come out of my mouth over the last couple of weeks. I’ve said things to Tom that I never thought I’d say, such as:
“If you are going to work long hours, then I want to be able to spend more money.”
Ugh. I seriously can’t believe it.
Not too long ago, I blogged about how I was afraid I’d end up as the type of housewife who spends too much money. My biggest fear is that as Tom and I make more money, I’ll be tempted to spend more money. Obviously we will be spending more as the kids grow up. I understand that some expenses are inevitable, but I don’t want to change my entire outlook on money just because we get a little more comfortable. I’d rather put that money to savings such as retirement or college for the kids.
So you can imagine how disappointed I was in myself when I told Tom that I needed to spend more money to compensate for his long hours at work.
Let me backtrack for a minute. As my loyal readers (and friends) know, Tom is an attorney. Like most attorneys, he has the occasional long work day. Recently he has had a large work load, which means he’s worked quite a few late nights. To be fair, my idea of late isn’t even that late. On his late nights he is still home by 7. Seven at night seems pretty late when you have a 6 month old and a toddler who have been up since 5 and barely napped.
Tom has also been leaving for work pretty early. I know this is just a part of being an attorney. It’s a trade off because he also has the freedom to take off early when he can, or rearrange his schedule for vacations. We are lucky he has a great job (so we can pay off all those loans), so I really shouldn’t be complaining.
Which is why I shocked myself when I made that comment. What did I expect? For Tom to joyfully say, “Yes Hannah, please spend all our money in an attempt to make yourself happier since you’re lonely when I work late.”?
It all comes down to me being lonely, or sad, or upset. When we aren’t happy, we sometimes find stupid ways to make ourselves better, such as spending, drinking, drugs, or overeating. Don’t worry, I’m not in a bad place. I’m not about to spend too much, binge drink/ eat, or start a drug addiction. However, the fact that I said that sentence out loud to Tom made me realize that I might be on my way to being unhappy in my current situation. I don’t want to become an emotional spender! The idea of that scares me so much.
[bctt tweet=”When we aren’t happy, it’s easy to spend too much money to compensate. “]I don’t want to end up over stressed with the kids, which is why I have a babysitter here right now as I work on my blog. I need a break every now and then. This is money well spent! We aren’t ready (financially or emotionally) to send Robert to preschool. A sitter is just what I need to get back into a happy place.
I guess in the end I am getting what I wanted. We are spending just a little bit more money this week (and future weeks) on a babysitter. However, I think this will help me save some money in the long run. It’s much better for me to have some “me-time” at home for $20 than to go to Target or shop on Amazon because I’m lonely and bored.
Random side note: I’m not lonely because I have no friends. I have the most amazing group of friends here in Naples. Jackson and Robert are napping at different times which means I have a very limited window of time for play dates. Short naps + limited socialization + lots of crying = stressed out mommy.
While I didn’t spend an excessive amount this week, I certainly spent a lot. I don’t know if I did it to try to cheer myself up or if I did it because we really needed the items.
I’m hoping to spend less next week so I can continue to put that money towards my new sitter.
Another reason I spent so much this week is that it’s Halloween week! We are having a few people over to our house on Halloween, and I just had to buy all the stuff to make fun Halloween snacks (find fun recipes here).
Here’s how I did this week:
Target- $56.28 (I’m returning a shirt though). The bulk of this was on new batteries for the fire alarms. Definitely a necessity!
Amazon- $80- Last minute Halloween costumes for me and Tom.
Trader Joe’s- $143.71- My first round of shopping for the week
Publix- $29.52- My second round of shopping. I somehow forgot a lot of stuff during my first trip, even with a list. I blame it on mom brain.
Chick-fil-A- $4.13- I was able to get lunch for me and Robert since I had a coupon for a free sandwich! I love all the freebies I get through Chick-fil-A.
FREEBIES: I’ll be getting free breakfast from Chick-fil-A today! And I’m drinking a free large iced pumpkin macchiatto from Dunkin Donuts right now. I love the DD Perks almost as much as I love being a Starbucks gold card member. Almost.
How did you do on your budget this week? Do you find that you spend more when you are emotional too?
[bctt tweet=”Do you spend more money when you are emotional? #eatdrinksave”]
Hannah, this was such a great post. If I wasn’t already totally in love with you, I would be now. It’s so true that we spend money when we are unhappy. I get THAT! Also I am really proud of you for being so open and honest with us (your followers) and yourself. I hope you get a sitter and get to have some fun! Wish I could be there to be part of it! Love you guys! -Irene (PS: That pic of Chik fila was sweet shot… can you come do a blog shoot with me???)
You know I love you, Irene. I’ll do a blog shoot with you any day!
This is a great piece — so honest — so much how we have all felt and acted — thank you for being so true and for walking us through the path of thinking it out. And heck, yes, a baby sitter is a righteous expense!! Relatively cheap to maintain mommy sanity and ultimately save you money, as you point out. Thank you for this — enjoy reading your blog!
Thank you! Sometimes it’s hard to be honest.