Tough love works my friend, especially when it comes to saving money. Here are some of my favorite tough love bits to help you save more money this year. This is your year to spend less and save more all while enjoying a meaningful life on a budget. Follow the advice in this post and you’ll be on your way to living a life of financial freedom.

Do you need some tough love to help you save money?

I think everyone needs a little tough love when it comes to money every now and then. Even I do! I love giving tough love, but I also love receiving it.

My own experience with tough love

2019 was an awful year. As many of my readers know, my mom moved in with us during her cancer treatments before passing away. You can catch up on some of it by reading this post. Then Robert got sick and had to be out of school for two whole weeks. It was rough.

During an exceptionally tough day I knew I needed to talk to someone who could make me feel better. I called my Uncle Doug. He’s not a touchy feely person. In fact, he’s kinda mean. He’s certainly not the type of person you call when you need cheering up. However, I knew I needed some tough love. And tough love I got.

He told me to pull my “big girl britches up and deal with it”.  He said this wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever been through and it’s not the worse thing I’ll ever go through. He told me that I’m privileged to deal with this problem and I need to be thankful I have the ability to take care of my mom.

As much as I could have been annoyed at his words, I was thrilled. This is what I need! I need a hard core coach to push me to deal with the hard things in life.

I realized in that moment that I was so over empathy. Empathy is amazing. It has its place. I appreciated it a ton throughout my journey, but I was over it. In that moment, I didn’t  need anyone to crawl into the darkness with me and agree that it sucks. Instead, I needed someone to shine a light into the dark, rappel into the cave of fear, throw me a rope, and tell me I’m strong enough to climb out.

I’m shouting it from the rooftops

Once I recognized this about myself, I had to tell everyone.

And tell them I did.

My poor friends.

I made it a huge point to let everyone know that I was over the cheerleader, I needed a mean ass coach to guide me through that tough time. When my friends from high school asked in a group text how I was doing, I let them know that I needed tough love. They delivered!

Shortly after letting them know about my need for tough love, my best friend told me she needed that same tough love with money. She told me it was hard for her to see the big picture and understand how spending less now is going to make her happier in the future.

That’s when I realized I should do what I do best: shell out some tough love advice on how to spend less, and save more.

I love giving out this type of advice. So here is goes. Here is my best tough love advice that will help you learn positive self talk to help you save money.

The Tough Love You Need to Help You Save Money

You don’t deserve a pick me up

My tough love: No, you don’t deserve a pick me up. You deserve a lot of things, but you don’t deserve a pick me up that costs money.

Here’s a list of things you deserve:

• You deserve to live a life of financial freedom that allows you to pay for emergencies when they arise.
• You deserve to pay for new tires when you need them.
• You deserve to pay for that unexpected medical bill without feeling stressed.
• You deserve to have a debt free Christmas.
• You deserve to pay for a “new-to-you” car in cash.
• You deserve to have money in retirement.
• You deserve to buy the groceries you want in order to make healthy food for you and your family.

But no, you don’t deserve to buy Starbucks or go on a shopping spree because you had a bad day. We all have bad days. The day will still be bad if you buy a treat, but now you’ll have a bad day and have less money.

The positive money affirmation you need to say to yourself:

Bad days happen. Buying something won’t fix the problem, it will only take money away from the life I truly deserve.

Stop saying that there are no benefits to saving money now if you can’t enjoy the present

My tough love: Future you will be present you one day.

If you don’t save money towards a goal of financial freedom now, you’ll be unhappy in the present and you’ll be unhappy in the future. Imagine a world where you’re only a little unhappy now, but very happy in the future. Making small sacrifices right now will pay off immensely in the future.

As my friend who received my tough love text said in response, it’s like “robbing Peter to pay Paul. Peter being the future and Paul being present time unnecessary purchases.”

Boom- she get’s it!

Remember in 4th or 5th grade when you learned about PERT in math class?  It’s that formula that teaches compounding interest. That stuck with me. Ever since then I’ve been a little obsessed with saving for the future. Why not!? Why wouldn’t you save a little money now in an interest bearing account in order have a shit ton of money later?

That is the just of it. Pay off debt, snowball what you can, and save what you can in order to truly achieve financial freedom. I wish I had a ton of information about this on my blog, but I don’t. Dave Ramsey did it best. I don’t agree with him when it comes to credit cards (another topic for another post), however, his advice for getting out of debt and attaining wealth is truly amazing. If you are reading my blog, but have never read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover, stop what you are doing right now and buy his book.

If you are financially stressed right now, the chances are high that you will be financially stressed for years to come if you don’t make big life changes right now. These will be hard life changes but living this kind of lifestyle is only temporary. Once you get your finances together, future you will be less stressed and have more money to live the life you deserve.

The funny thing is that all these changes will seem hard at first but once you get into a rhythm, it becomes second nature to spend less.

The positive money affirmations you need to say to yourself:

Future me will be so happy to see present me make wise financial decisions right now.

Small sacrifices now will pay off (literally) later in life.

You are the only obstacle in your way of paying off debt

My tough love: You have no one to blame for your debt other than you.

Even if you married into it. Believe me, I get it. My husband racked up $150,000 in loans. As a team player, I worked my ass off to help him pay it off quickly.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the blame game when it comes to money. I truly know. I’ve been there.

I’ve also told myself that buying new things is more important than paying off debt. It’s no fun to pay off debt when you need a new computer, phone, tires, or fill in the blank on everything else you think you need. It’s not your fault, right!? All the things breaking or needing to be replaced is to blame.

Lies. Just because something breaks, doesn’t mean you have to replace it.

You might even be telling yourself that your debt payments are so high that you’ll never pay them off. Why not keep paying the minimum so you can have more money for the things you want now?

These kind of thoughts are proof that you are the only obstacle in your way of paying off debt. You think you need certain things now, but in reality you don’t. You don’t need much in life. If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, you really only need food, water, shelter, safety, and love to thrive. You don’t need the newest iPhone or trendy clothes.

You can live an uncomfortable life now in order to live a fabulous one later. The crazy thing is that along the way, you will probably realize that the free things in life bring you more happiness than all the things money buys that you once thought brought you happiness.

The positive money affirmations you need to say to yourself:

I’m my biggest obstacle to saving money.

I don’t have to have anything other than food, shelter, safety and love to be happy right now.

If you are privileged enough to have the opportunity to save money, why wouldn’t you?

My tough love: If you don’t live paycheck to paycheck when paying basic bills, you are privileged enough to have the opportunity to save money. Do it!

Fifteen percent of Americans live in poverty. When you live in poverty you don’t have the opportunity to save money for the future.

If you have “extra” money each month, then why are you throwing it away on things you don’t need? Why wouldn’t you count your blessings and put that money away in savings for a time when you will actually need it?

When I say “extra” money, I’m not assuming you have thousands of extra dollars each month. I’m talking about the $4 you spend at Starbucks every now and then, or the $8 you spend on a new top that’s on sale. Small purchases add up fast.

Stop and ask yourself if you really need to buy something before you buy it. There is nothing wrong with buying something new when you need it. This is a normal thing! However there is something wrong with buying something new because it’s trendy or you think you need a better version of something when you really don’t.

The positive money affirmations you need to say to yourself:

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

I’m only buying new things when something old breaks, wears out, or gets lost.

If I don’t need it, I’m not buying it.

Grace works wonders

My tough love is tough. I know it.

While this post may be hard to stomach for a lot of readers, it’s the truth. You can’t save money if you don’t give yourself some tough love. At the same time, you can’t be perfect all the time.

Give yourself grace when you mess up. You will mess up. You will buy a pick me up on a day where you really shouldn’t waste your money. You will continue to make a few bad financial decisions after you read this post. It’s okay.

Recognize that you messed up and then get right back on the horse.

Set up rewards

The hardest part about saving money is that it’s a long game. You won’t see the big pay off for years. That’s why it is important to set goals and then give yourself a little reward with each goal.

Here are some examples:

• Treat yourself to a nice dinner out as soon as you have $1000 in your emergency savings fund.
• Cancel cable (or something else) until a certain debt is paid off in full, once you have it paid, bring cable back into your life.
• Set up a savings account just for travel and cash in on it once it hits a certain amount. Don’t travel at all until you can pay for it in cash.

Positive affirmations to help you save money

Tough love works, but so does positivity. Keep saying these positive money affirmations to yourself:

• Bad days happen. Buying something won’t fix the problem, it will only take money away from the life I truly deserve.
• Future me will be so happy to see present me make wise financial decisions right now.
• Small sacrifices now will pay off (literally) later in life.
• I’m my biggest obstacle to saving money.
• I don’t have to have anything other than food, shelter, safety and love to be happy right now.
• If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
• I’m only buying new things when something old breaks, wears out, or gets lost.
• If I don’t need it, I’m not buying it.

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